Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Head Pressure.

Sorry I have failed at blogging the last few days... My cookie baking (TWS) has been taking over my life. I won't bore you with that... but I will bore (or entertain, depending on your preferences) you with a quick story. It is similar to a previous story I wrote about cats....

The students had just finished some math worksheets for the day and I was reading to them to give them a break. It is Johnny Appleseed week (YES, he was REAL), and we read a book about making apple pie. I tried not to slobber on the book. And I am particular about my apple pie. I prefer mushier apples... if the texture is wrong --- I am out. But the illustrations in this book made me not even care and pretend to be an apple pie fan... here are a few examples...

Perfect in every way... The apples even look mushy. Great presentation! 

Clever, right? Clever, but not appetizing... unless you are in to eating technology.

Appetizing, right? SO CREEPY!!!!!!!! THE EARS ---- the sugar glaze on the crust looks like ear wax! 

Happy Thanksgiving, hope I didn't ruin pie time...
You'll thank me later when you DON'T gain 5 pounds from sweets. And if you have trouble, just log on to my blog and give yourself a view of this puppy. I guarantee you I am pie-free for MONTHS because of this picture. You're welcome, thighs. 

Anyway, back to my story... oops.

So after reading the book, we are discussing things we can make out of apple pie. After much distress at keeping them focused, they finally enjoyed the topic. Apple pie, apple jelly, apple donut?? (whatever), apple cider, etc. 

And then it happened. There is always one in the class that cannot stand not to make a comment. The fact that he's too cute for words makes up from his constant hand raising... But here is what happened.

"Yes Billy?" (name changed for privacy reasons)

"Well, there is something my mom makes with crust and sugar and cinnamon... and the apples are almost soupy."

"Billy, that's probably apple cobbler."

"No it's not."

"YES... it is."

"No, I wouldn't eat a cobbler... that's part of a turkey..."

"Billy... are you talking about gobble, gobble? Nevermind." 

"Because of this conversation, Mrs. Clem, I have a lot head pressure. I think the blood is rushing to my head." 

"Billy.... just go splash your face with water."

What I really wanted to say - You are a liar, Billy.

You might think this is the end... BUT IT IS NOT.

Sure enough... 7 hands shoot up after Billy leaves for the bathroom.


"My head hurts every night after I eat."

"I need to splash my face because of the pressure."

"My homework makes blood rush to my face." 

"My head keeps going, hot-cold, hot-cold."



ENJOY your week and I will talk to you tomorrow. Unless my baking gets in the way. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

I love gooooooooooold.

Two things inspired me to write this post. 

#1: my wedding ring :) - My husband is way too good to me, and I love him more every day. Most people nowadays will wear a white gold ring, and I am not against that at all. I am just a fan of being somewhat old-fashioned. My mom and mother-in-law's rings are both gold, and it felt special to "match" them. Ok, off my soapbox. Get whatever ring makes you feel special; that is the point. 

#2: Blake Lively's outfit on Gossip Girl last week. Shown below.

I L.O.V.E this. In the words of Rachel Zoe, it is ba-na-nas. I absolutely love the gold jacket and the pumps. WOW. And her hair is another story, possibly for another post. If you would like to know which designers' collection this outfit belongs to, let me know. I just so happened to find out.  To be continued...

My husband, who is very fashion forward in his own taste of clothing (and my wedding ring), referred to it as looking like a genie. I (respectfully) disagree because I love it. But, even the genie wore gold cuffs. See?

So there. 

Here are a few gold things I am fashion craving. Take your pick. All from TOPSHOP, of course.

I love giant rings currently.

And I have been wanting a long ring, and this antique gold one might do the trick. Christmas is coming, right? I am thinking I'll start my Christmas list now. Are you reading, family? :) 

This is, by far, my faaaavorite. BEAUTIFUL. I can already picture how I'd wear my hair. It's perfect. 

I loooove the armband. Very Aladdin Genie. It's screaming "Linzi, you will never have a friend like me." Get it? Cheap jokes. 

No, this dress is not all gold. I don't like that. But the accent on the shoulder is, and it's beautiful. Wear this with patterned leggings and wonderful pumps. Sigh... Just consider this post my Christmas list. In fact, I can see this working very well as a Christmas party dress. Hmmm...

In other first grade news, Parent/Teacher Conference DAY!!!! Because most of the conferences were last night (long day), today was a free day. I heard the angels singing. 

In the words of Goldmember, I love gooooold. 

Dreaming Gold Dreams,

P.S. I am currently baking my "The Lord Made It, So I Will Eat" post for Sunday... if it tastes half as good as its batter, we are all in for a treat. 

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Puffy Sleeves.

One of my main goals this year is to have skinny enough arms to wear puffy sleeves. 

Confession: I absolutely. LOVE. puffy sleeves.


I am not quite there yet. Or maybe I am, but maybe I don't want to buy that size bigger so that my arms will fit in it. I had this conversation with lovely friends at coffee a couple of weeks ago. It isn't like anyone goes through my closet looking for the size I buy. If they did, I may or may not call the police. THAT is a violation, I am sure of it. But I have this weird thing about me that says I won't buy a shirt that is more than one size bigger (even if it runs small) because I don't want to think that was my size. 

Wake up, Linzi. Your size is whatever fits. Quit skipping over puffy sleeves because of an insecurity. 

I'd like to thank this Topshop dress for helping me go through "size label" therapy. I know you are humming "You're so vain" in your heads right now... I promise... in a few weeks, I will report back a new woman. Ish. 

Without further adieu, please welcome my size therapist. 

Don't you love her? Nice neck/waist line... Beautiful color... no head. Oh wait. 

I encourage any other believers that people really do read your tag labels to buy one thing that you thought your body couldn't wear. Go ahead, buy a bigger size. Enjoy fashion at its best. For me, that's the puffy sleeve.

In other first grade news, I learned the focus attention span of a six-year-old. The word discouraging comes to mind...


Sunday, September 19, 2010

"The Lord Made This, Therefore I Eat" Sunday

Every blog seems to have a weekly theme to look forward to. I wasn't going to do it. I'd like to say it was because I was defying the system or trying to be different... here is the real reason. 

I am not creative

So, to help this situation, I took a break from my Teacher Work Sample to brainstorm. From now on, I'd like to refer to my TWS as "chocolate chip cookies." Why, you ask? Well TWS is a student teacher's worst nightmare. It's a, roughly, 30-page written document about how we teach during the semester. There is a lot more to it, but I won't bore you with details. 

Chocolate Chip Cookies are my favorite food. As a teacher, I realize I shouldn't capitalize chocolate chip cookies, but because of my love for them, I feel as if it has stepped up and become a proper noun. If you don't know about proper nouns, see me. 

So, to make my TWS seem more appealing every night, I call it my chocolate chip cookies. It's a mental trick on my brain to think that I am just working on my cookies in the oven. MMMMMMMmmmmm. 

Unfortunately, it isn't a very good trick. As I write, I start to realize I cannot smell my Chocolate Chip Cookies. Maybe JJ will buy me a candle. 

Ok, I got off topic. As I strayed from working on Chocolate Chip Cookies, I figured out what I wanted my theme to be. 

I try to eat very healthy throughout the week. Does it work? Ehh, questionable. But I try. And I have a weekly workout routine as many people do. So, I decided that on Sunday, I could have something I wanted. It is the Lord's Day, and the Lord has created everything on Earth that is good. I don't see why, on HIS day, HE would want me to deny my cravings for wonderful food. Afterall, portion control is more important than what I eat. Too bad my definition of portion control is way off base. Oh well.

Disclaimer: In no way am I making fun of the Lord's Day... I am a regular church attender and a big, big fan of the Big Man Upstairs. He definitely gets the capital letters. 

So welcome to my first thematic day of Tales of a Clementine. It will be entitled "The Lord Made This, Therefore I Eat" Sunday. Please enjoy - even if you dive into something "bad for you," know that it's Sunday. And you can join in on the fun. Let me know how it goes. 

Today's Lord's Day food that I wanted to eat is from The Pioneer Woman. Have you heard of her? Oh, I love Ree Drummond. I have the cookbook that is SIGNED by her thanks to my sister Kelli. I have made almost everything in that book more than once, and some things.... 100 times. She is absolutely wonderful. I recommend it to all who enjoy food, photography, and laughing. So that is probably just about every one of you. 

I will wait no further.... 


Literally, eat your heart out. Well, not OUT. But eat your love of chocolate away. Recipes on her website. :)

Now, if I could only figure out what a teaspoon was... (kidding, mostly)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Sweatpants, Sweatpants All Around.

I know I said that I'd blog about things other than fashion, but today I had two choices. 

1. The previews of 2011 Spring fashion that I have been googling while my husband works.


2. My day at school where one of my cutie-pie first graders had what we like to call an "accident." Bless his ever-loving heart. Did your mom ever say that? Ever-loving. Heart. Bless it. 

Because I do not want to relive Number 2/have a nightmare about its happenings... I defaulted to Number 1. Enjoy. 

After looking around at New York's Fashion Week that my sweet cousin Emily got to attend... (look at her cute outfit that she wore to it here, LOVE IT), I browsed threw several (okay, more than several...) slideshows of top fashion designers and their Spring 2011 designs. 

After much thought and debate, I'd like to thank the one and only Michael Kors for contributing to my decision on my favorite Spring 2011 trend. Look how wonderful this is.  Don't drool on your laptop. 

Disclaimer: I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE. 

I am not a fan of this swimsuit, but I LOVE the shoes. LOVE. 

Love every piece of this...

I love yellow and I love t-shirt material... Jackpot!

Sweatshirt + Dress = Dream come true. And if you look closely, Michael (I don't know if, after this, I can just refer to him as Michael... more like SIR Michael Kors) is bringing a new shoe (OF COURSE) to us... entitled (drumroll)

 the flatform

F-U-N. I want 8 of them.

And now, here is one quick explanation of why I love all of this so much. 

Notice the trend? EVERYTHING IS COMFORTABLE. They have taken women's "Secret" favorite "hiding the meal" attire - the sweatpants - and made it wearable for everyday and get this - even the nightlife. 


In conclusion, bring on the "sweatpants" Spring, 2011, I am ready. No more eating and coming home to change into "comfy" clothes because I feel so full I could bust... My only fear is that I may overdo it... Possible? Nah.

Therefore... sweatpants, sweatpants everywhere. Have a great weekend! Happy Sweatpants Dreaming!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Leather is not just for motorcyclists.

I have a new obsession. No, not fashion. That is not considered "new." My new obsession is FALL. I love fall colors, I love the trees, I love the pumpkin flavored things to eat and drink...

.... and...


There is just something that I love about being in Oklahoma in the fall. It is the only season where wearing a cardigan and jacket with shorts is acceptable. It is the only season in which you can stretch out sandal usage until there is ice on the ground. Think about it... 

In the summer, if you wear a cardigan or cute jacket that you buy with your shorts, you look like an idiot... and rightly so. It's 105 degrees outside, please do not put on that beautiful knit cardigan and sweat in it. 

In the winter, if you wear shorts, your name is probably Mike Farris. And if so, you probably don't care that I think of this as a fashion faux pas.

In the Spring... well, I guess you could do this... but I think we are just all so excited that it isn't cold that by Spring, we are ready for cute dresses and sandals. Instead of "YES, I get to wear my cardigan!" It's "YES, I don't have to de-ice my car!"

This fall I have already informed my husband that I am saving up for a pair of these below. Never in my life did I think I would wear leather. Leather and I were enemies. 

Think about it... Leather pasted to my legs and body... I'll pass. 
Leather making noise as I take steps... No thank you.

BUT THESE!  These are loose and longer and are, dare I say it, classy. 

Never have I ever thought leather was classy. 

You know that game? But in the clean version way, not the "never ever" game that is too revealing and awful. 

But for the sake of this post, I just put a finger down for leather. 

Thank you, Nordstrom and TOPSHOP. You are always so faithful.