Head Pressure.

Sorry I have failed at blogging the last few days... My cookie baking (TWS) has been taking over my life. I won't bore you with that... but I will bore (or entertain, depending on your preferences) you with a quick story. It is similar to a previous story I wrote about cats....


The students had just finished some math worksheets for the day and I was reading to them to give them a break. It is Johnny Appleseed week (YES, he was REAL), and we read a book about making apple pie. I tried not to slobber on the book. And I am particular about my apple pie. I prefer mushier apples... if the texture is wrong --- I am out. But the illustrations in this book made me not even care and pretend to be an apple pie fan... here are a few examples...

Perfect in every way... The apples even look mushy. Great presentation! 

Clever, right? Clever, but not appetizing... unless you are in to eating technology.

Appetizing, right? SO CREEPY!!!!!!!! THE EARS ---- the sugar glaze on the crust looks like ear wax! 

Happy Thanksgiving, hope I didn't ruin pie time...

You'll thank me later when you DON'T gain 5 pounds from sweets. And if you have trouble, just log on to my blog and give yourself a view of this puppy. I guarantee you I am pie-free for MONTHS because of this picture. You're welcome, thighs. 

Anyway, back to my story... oops.

So after reading the book, we are discussing things we can make out of apple pie. After much distress at keeping them focused, they finally enjoyed the topic. Apple pie, apple jelly, apple donut?? (whatever), apple cider, etc. 

And then it happened. There is always one in the class that cannot stand not to make a comment. The fact that he's too cute for words makes up from his constant hand raising... But here is what happened.

"Yes Billy?" (name changed for privacy reasons)

"Well, there is something my mom makes with crust and sugar and cinnamon... and the apples are almost soupy."

"Billy, that's probably apple cobbler."

"No it's not."

"YES... it is."

"No, I wouldn't eat a cobbler... that's part of a turkey..."

"Billy... are you talking about gobble, gobble? Nevermind." 

"Because of this conversation, Mrs. Clem, I have a lot head pressure. I think the blood is rushing to my head." 

"Billy.... just go splash your face with water."

What I really wanted to say - You are a liar, Billy.

You might think this is the end... BUT IT IS NOT.

Sure enough... 7 hands shoot up after Billy leaves for the bathroom.

.....

"My head hurts every night after I eat."

"I need to splash my face because of the pressure."

"My homework makes blood rush to my face." 

"My head keeps going, hot-cold, hot-cold."

ALL FIRST GRADERS ARE HYPOCHONDRIACS. AND COPIERS. 

AND CUTIE PATOOTIES.

ENJOY your week and I will talk to you tomorrow. Unless my baking gets in the way.